ok, I’m actually going to rant about something personal, so if you want to ignore this post, I won’t blame you. I normally don’t do this, but I feel like unloading a bit.
Recently, a couple (er, make that a large majority) of my friends have decided they’re too busy and too stressed to so much as listen to my problems. or even listen to anyone for that matter… unless it’s someone other than me or heather. Of course, these friends then tell me “well I don’t want to tell you about my problems, they’ll only stress you out more,” or “I don’t really talk to anyone about my problems, except so-and-so.” Then they’ll say something like “I’m going insane, my life is falling apart!” Well, let’s just say that now, I’m slightly peeved.
Firstly, if your lives are so overstressed, but you’re going to get upset because I don’t know it and I dare to bother you while you’re upset, wouldn’t it make sense to, o i dont know, talk to me about it? if something ive done has upset you, maybe you could come to me in a mature, responsible way and tell me what it was I did, and we can make up, like friends are suppose to do (Donkey might have been an ass sometimes, but what he told Shrek was right: “That’s what friends do, they FORGIVE each other!”). And don’t you think it’s really low to tell someone you call a friend that you don’t tell them the important things going on in their lives, but hey, it’s ok because you tell someone else they know? That’s really upsetting, and a low blow. I’ll forgive you for it, but it’s going to hurt.
And your life is falling apart? YOUR life? ok, odds are you have a lot of shit hitting the fan in your life, I’ll give you all that. And it could be more difficult than mine. But guess what: everyone else has shit too. And this “I got mine, screw you all” is an attitude I absolutely detest, with all of my being. That’s what friends are for: we are a circular support system. We keep each other afloat when alone we’d fall beneath the waves. When a lot of the circle starts trying to show that they can face the ocean themselves, however, they only isolate themselves, remove their own support network, and jeapordize their friends in their potential time of need. But let’s get back to the world-shattering horror of your life collapsing. Like I said, the trauma of your life is important to you, and therefore it is important to me; I will be there as an ear to listen, I will be there as a shoulder to cry on, I will be there as a hand to help you back up. I will do anything I can to help, to make you feel better… anything. But you are going to dare tell me that my problems dont matter? well newsflash: they matter to me. and I cared about you with your problems; where are you now?
What problems do I have? Well, [edited: sorry, I dont trust one of the persons who read this.]. And that has been really traumatizing to me. For the past month or so, I’ve been incredibly stressed out because of college applications on top of my 5 AP classes work load. For anyone not familiar with my parents, they have been fanatic with regards to these; they might not let me have my 18th birthday party if I’m not done a certain number of essays, which btw im really stressing about because im scared im going to screw up and not get into any colleges. Speaking of that birthday, all of the friends I’ve invited either wouldn’t want to come right now (too busy with their own problems) or cant come. My girlfriend who lives 844 miles away, who I haven’t seen in 2 months, and who was going to be coming, might not be able to come through no fault of her own (dont be upset sweetie, I love you!). My grades, meanwhile, are collapsing in on themselves. I’m failing my best class right now (yes, Physics; I’m shocked too). I’m struggling with grades consistently in the eighties (yeh, that is bad for me; i need high grades, really high, to get into the schools im looking at). Because of these and other problems, I haven’t been sleeping. Partly, this is because I need to stay up late to get my work done. The main part is that I simply can’t sleep; I’m turning into an insomniac. I wake up multiple times every night. I take a long time just falling asleep, or falling back asleep. I’m exhausted all day, but I can’t sleep. I’m starting to get headaches, and once in a while minor migraines. I’m breaking down, losing it in classes, forgetting assignments, not preparing for tests and quizzes I’d forgotten we had. I dont think I’ve smiled in the last 2 weeks.
So, your life is stressed? Well so is mine. I don’t feel like playing the “my life is worse than yours!” angst game. My point is that all of us are stressed, all of us are hurting, all of us need a hand, all of us need some support and love instead of knives and hate. So, this is my apology, from my end, for having held a knife from time to time. Yes, it was me too, Caesar. And I’m sorry. But I ask you, E tu, Brute? Please, let’s help each other out, and stop retreating to a selfish corner of our own little worlds.
Taking care of your own problems does not mean turning your back on your loved ones…
Share This