Political Games - Where the fuck’s the reset button?

So wow… I’d actually forgotten about this post. Apparently [according to all-knowing blog overseer Mike] there was some sort of controversy on another blog regarding these quotes. I’m going to give an explanation, and then the post as it originally appeared.

You see, most of these quotes are from 10th or 11th grade. While none of them are fabricated, a few of them are taken out of context; several of them are not serious; even more of them were said off-the-cuff without much thought being put into them. I’m pretty sure I can safely declare none of them are actually believed by the speaker.

So, Euge… I want to apologize for any personal anguish caused by this. This wasn’t done for malicious/hurtful purposes; this was done for a good laugh. And not at you, either. Especially now, in hindsight, these are freaking hilarious [especially the banter with Rigg; I always enjoyed that]. However, as has been my policy, I don’t delete things from my blog. Ever. So these will stand, but hopefully with this explanation nobody will throw these back in your face in a serious manner. If they do, send them my way and I’ll straighten them out.

That said… the post as it originally stood:

For anyone who’s looked closely at my profile, you’ll notice there’s a subsection labeled “Conservative Corner”. In actuality, it’s a list of quotes from my friend at school, eugene. Only one [or most] of these said quotes is taken out of context, because it’s really funny and non-political [and hopefully we can all enjoy the political ones too]. I think even Eugene will appreciate that one.

Instead of putting them in my obscure profile, I’m going to put them here: in my obscure blog. Enjoy!

-”Who cares about the environment? It won’t be gone for another 50 years, and I’ll be dead by then.”
-”The environment is not fragile.”
-”Global warming isn’t real.”
-”Bush is too liberal.”
-”If you like honesty, then why don’t you like Bush?”
-”A president doesn’t need to be intelligent!”
-”Love has very little to do with marriage.”
-”Homosexuality has only been around since the 70’s.”
-”Affirmative action is worse than slavery.”
-”We shouldn’t let the Hispanics in.”
-”Women were better off before feminism.”
-”Welfare should be given to the rich so the poor will work harder.”
-”We shouldn’t focus on failures, the scum on welfare.”
-”The California economy is all Davis’ fault….. the U.S. economy has nothing to do with Bush!”
-”Are there any hot girls at Penn State?”
-”I understand her point of view; she’s a loser!”
-”A liberal actor can’t play a conservative!”
-”[Reagan] saying to his wife ‘I would come across the country for you’ makes him seem like a girl.”
-”I won’t condemn Gibson’s film [the Passion] until it comes out ….. We have enough evidence to condemn the Reagan movie!”
-”Black people walk too slow in the hallways.”
-”It’s important to conform to society to succeed in life.”
-Explaining why it is all a woman’s fault if she gets pregnant: “It’s like this. If a guy asks a girl for a candy bar, and she gives it to him, but then she gets hungry, it’s her fault she’s hungry.”
-Me: “Since we’re liberating the people of Iraq, shouldn’t we be liberating people living under other dictatorships, like in South America?”
Eugene: “It’s not in our best interests to liberate those people.”
-”Even poor people can afford microwave ovens and cable tv.”
-Franco: “You weren’t hugged as a child, were you?”
-Eugene: “You can’t reason with liberals.”
Rigg: “Yeah, because conservatives are SO well known for being open-minded.”
Me: “Now hold on. I just discovered this morning that, for Earth Day, Eugene will be cleaning up a river.”
Rigg: “What, is he getting NHS credit for it or something? [yes] He’s probably going to piss in it the whole time.”
-Eugene: “Why do the Vietnamese put “Viet” before all of their things [Viet Cong, Viet minh, et al]? America doesn’t do that! We don’t call things ‘Ameriplane’ or ‘Ameritank’!”
The entire class: “U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, U.S. Airforce, U.S. Airways, American Airways, Amtrack, Amerihealth, Ameritrade, [et al ad naseum].”
-Eugene: “Who cares about French?”
Mr. Rigg: “As soon as Eugene lowers his swastika, we can move on.”
Mr. Rigg (continuing with heavy sarcasm): “I can see you’re a tolerant person Eugene… I can’t wait to see you grow up with that steeltrap mind of yours.”
-Eugene: “You forgot the accent on Genet.”
Mr. Rigg adds accent incorrectly
Eugene: “It’s still wrong.”
Mr. Rigg: “I did that on purpose just to see how far your anal tendencies went.”

EDIT: Here are some more!

-Eugene: “People don’t go dressed to work dirty or colorfully!”
Me: “Colorfully?”
Eugene: “Shutup! I hate you guys!”
-”In your opinion, did girls become better-looking in college, or did they get fat?”
-”I think Bush is like Lincoln!”
-”You know what I want to do in college? Start smoking.”
-”Second-hand smoke doesn’t cause anything.”

MORE EDIT:

-Rigg: “Eugene, stop studying chemistry!”
Eugene: “It’s not chem. it’s a history thing I bought from borders.”
Rigg: “Borders? You know they’re communists, right?”
Eugene: “Well, yeh, but they didn’t make it.”
Rigg: “Who did?”
Eugene: “[Company name].”
Rigg: “Notorious communist group. I’d burn that.”
Eugene: “I can’t-”
Rigg: “What, it wouldn’t cause enough pollution?”
Eugene: “Well, yeh, but it’s also laminated.”

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